Wow. I thought I'd turned a corner when I finally put corner guards on the coffee table but it seems I'm still a work in progress as far as being a competent mum goes.
Before the nitty gritty I shall regale you with a few details or, in my case, mitigating circumstances.
I very rarely have the time for a shower, let alone a bath, and so last night when my husband kindly offered to watch Tom for a bit whilst I took a bath, I bit his hand off. I was in that bathroom quicker than you can say mouldy toes. Anyway, I scrubbed, shaved and rinsed and felt thoroughly human once more by the end of it.
Fast forward to this morning and my story begins. I was having a number two (the door was open too ensure a quick getaway if any vaguely worrying noises from the beast wafted in) but as it was he, as is his wont, came in to see me. Imagine my horror, then, when he went straight to the razor I'd left on the side of the bath. Aaggh! The fact that he put it straight in his mouth and smirked when I started shrieking at him didn't help to calm me in any way. Thankfully I managed to carefully get it out of his mouth and grasp before any damage was done. I sat back down to finish my doings and to chastise myself severely for being a crap mum only for Tom to return with a pair of scissors in his hands. I'd left it on the bloody dining room table! Ok, note to self, he can now climb onto chairs and therefore onto the table. Nothing is safe. I suppose a cage is out of the question? Yes? Oh, bum.
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